Father's day

Published: June 17, 2018      Updated: December 30, 2019



I honestly thought he had a death wish. Or maybe he wanted to kill us both. Perhaps he was just THAT crazy. Why couldn’t he see the obvious futility of the situation?




We had a poor scared-to-death heifer that went into labour and couldn’t have her calf. She was quite obviously scared out of her mind of the pain this new phase of life was bringing her, and she wanted no part in the assistance her humans wanted to offer her. She went from docile beef cow to raging man-hunting lunatic in no time flat. She was plain dangerous, like nothing I’ve seen in the previous 26 years of calving seasons, and we had to get her into the handling facilities and restrained in order to help her. The situation looked hopeless as she once again crashed through/jumped over/or charged past any gate, fence or person that stood in her way. I was ready to simply take our loss and shoot her before she put one of us in the hospital or the grave. She got the better of the situation many times over in those HOURS of stress. I was ready to walk away and drag my apparently lunatic husband with me, but he was having none of it.




My husband doesn’t act like I do. He doesn’t even listen to my reason at times. I often thought it was some sort of cruel joke that God designed men and women so differently and then ‘saw that it was good’ and told us to make a family and create. Thankfully He also gave us pretty broad hints in His word as to how we should endeavour to live together happily ever after.


Ephesians 5:33 says that husbands must love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands.


Husbands and wives can regularly create a ‘crazy cycle’ together which happens when she doesn’t get the love she needs, so she reacts negatively by acting without respect towards her husband...something he desperately needs. Then he reacts negatively to her lack of respect by being unloving towards her, and the cycle goes around and around. It’s not fun. This crazy cycle happens because women don’t realize that men aren’t hardwired to love, but to respect. Women are the opposite: created to love naturally, but not respect. God jumps in and in Ephesians 5 COMMANDS husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands; and He needs to command because He knows how He created us. We now have a choice to make to obey and live happily with each other, or disobey and live miserably.


There is much so good stuff to learn on this subject of Live & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, but because it’s Father’s Day, let’s fast forward right to the part that wives can do to support their husbands. What does respect look like to men? According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, respect is actually spelled C-H-A-I-R-S for men. He has needs in the areas of Conquest, Heirarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.


Here are some ways that men hear respect loud and clear from their wives.


(Ladies, listen up and try some of these practical ideas and see if he doesn’t respond in a loving manner...feeding YOUR soul.)


Conquest: say, ‘Thanks’ for going to work every day, be his biggest cheerleader, listen to his dreams & dream with him. Appreciate his desire to work & achieve.



Nehemiah 4:14 | KJV

14 And I looked, and rose up, and said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses.


Hierarchy: Men have a inbred desire to protect and provide. Say to him: ‘I look up to you for feeling responsible for me’, or ‘I’m really touched by the thought that you’d be willing to die for me’.


1 Timothy 3:5 | KJV

(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)


Genesis 3:16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.



Authority: say (in front of the kids and/or others) ‘That was a fantastic idea you had about....’ Praise his good decisions and honour his authority. He is designed to be strong and lead.


1 Corinthians 16:13 | KJV

13 Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.



Insight: say ‘You had really great advice about...’, also because men are oriented to fix problems, (analyse & counsel) if you have a need to talk about your concerns, be sure to let him know when you only need his listening ear and not for him to fix things.



Ephesians 5:25-26 | KJV

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,



Relationship: say ‘I not only love you, I LIKE you’, hang out with him, do projects with him. Remember that men generally aren’t physically ‘face-to-face’ oriented, but rather ‘shoulder-to-shoulder’ oriented. They also appreciate your silence when fishing;). Just BEING there is plenty for them- appreciate his desire for your friendship.



Malachi 2:14 | KJV

14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.


Sexuality: understand and appreciate his NEED for sexual release: initiate, and respond more often.


1Corinthians 7:4-5

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


So back to the man-hunting, potentially relationship-destroying calving heifer. In the end, no one died or got hurt. Despite losing many of the battles, my husband eventually won the war and we were even miraculously rewarded with a live calf! More importantly though, I saw in action, and learned more about, how my dear man is wired, especially in the areas of conquest, hierarchy, and authority. I saw all three play out that day. I also understood more of his need of me to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him through thick and thin (Relationship). I thought he was insane, but it turns out it was me who had something to learn about how God had ‘fearfully and wonderfully’ created my man, and how I was commanded to respond with respect.

So this Fathers Day, why not take a little day trip somewhere he will especially enjoy and practice some of these respect principles?


Cheerful couple enjoying in the car ride. 



Tips for day trips:

  1. prepare: the car (fuel, maintenance (tire pressure for fuel economy, oil change),



    first aid kit, emergency kit), the itinerary, the food, yourself and your family (be well rested)                      Meal ideas       :https://www.upliftingmayhem.com/healthy-chocolate-peanut-butter-oat-bar-recipe-no-bake/#_a5y_p=6359696


Road trip roll ups: wraps.

Homemade fruit leather



Cut veggies and guacamole or hummus.


Economy tip: pack meals, drive with properly inflated tires, and don’t speed


Cleaning tip: create a natural air freshener by taking a wooden clothes pin, put a desired amount of essential oils of choice (not ones that promote relaxation!) on it, and clip it to your car’s air vent.